


The First Two Pieces

by Lyndsey08



Series: A/B/O - Our Missing Piece [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alpha Janus Sanders, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Beta Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Breaking Up & Making Up, Cheating, Courting Rituals, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Pack Dynamics, Roceit - Freeform, Romance, Scent Marking, Smut, Soul Bond, Switching, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25742515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndsey08/pseuds/Lyndsey08
Summary: Roman and Janus meet by chance in the college library and realize they have a soul bond.  As they navigate their relationship, they learn new things about themselves and each other as they experience happiness, love, heartbreak and all the ways to truly love another person.This is the first story in a three-part series about the Sanders A/B/O pack and how they come together.  I wrote the third story first and couldn't stop thinking about how the boys met and fell in love before they ended up with their completed pack.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Roceit
Series: A/B/O - Our Missing Piece [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867354
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story in a three-part series about the Sanders A/B/O pack and how they create a life together. I wrote the third story first and then started wondering about how the boys met and fell in love before they ended up with their completed pack. In part two they meet Thomas and in part three they meet Virgil.

Roman sighed as he sat down at the table tucked away near a window. He’d decided to come to the library when he realized he couldn’t make himself study effectively with the sound of the TV and had his roommates hanging out with him in the living room. He sat his backpack on the floor beside his chair and dug into it, grabbing the papers for the assignment and reading over it’s requirements.

The library was crowded as many other students found a quiet place to study for their finals and write their final term papers. So when a tall boy quietly sat down on the other end of the six person table, Roman wasn’t surprised. The beta continued to type away at his laptop until he heard the other man curse softly under his breath. Roman glanced up and saw the other man glancing around, looking for something.

“Everything okay?” Roman asked, feeling the breath catch in his throat as he got a full look at the man’s face. His dark brown hair was wavy and his skin was a little darker than Roman’s. But his piercing green eyes were what stopped Roman’s heart momentarily as they met his own.

“Sorry, yeah, it’s fine,” the man said before gesturing down at his laptop, “I just realized my laptop is almost dead, it must not have charged last night.”

He paused for a moment before asking, “Would it be alright if I sit across from you so my charger can reach? It’s okay if that’s too weird, I just-” Roman cut him off with a grin.

“That’s no problem at all, man, go for it. I can scoot to the middle so you can spread out a little?” the beta offered, feeling his heart skip a beat when the other man smiled, revealing perfectly white teeth.

“Thanks a lot,” he said, sounding relieved as he gathered up his things, “I’m usually more prepared than this.”

Roman grinned, “Maybe you’re just sleep deprived and stressed out like the rest of us because it’s almost time for finals?” he teased gently.

The beautiful man scrubbed on hand over his face before agreeing, “Exactly, this is my least favorite week of the term...like most people, I’d guess.” He slid into the seat across from Roman and leaned down to plug his laptop charger into the wall next to the table. Roman slid over one seat so they were sitting across from one another at an angle.

The two men worked in silence for a time, save for the sounding of keys typing when Roman stretched quietly, leaning his arms back to ease the muscles in his neck. He glanced at the man sitting near him, and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, thinking that they did nothing to take away from his beauty. ‘Jesus, Roman, get it together,’ he thought, grinning as he realized how distracted he was by this beautiful man.

“I’ve still got a few hours of work to go, I think I’m gonna grab some coffee, can I bring you anything?” the beta asked, scooting his chair back.

The other man blinked and looked over at him, “Oh, uhh, sure?” he phrased it like a question. Roman grinned, this guy was too cute for some reason, and he felt drawn to him.

“Any requests?” the beta asked brightly.

The alpha held out his student card loaded with cash for Roman to take to the cafe inside the library, “Umm, large coffee with one cream, here, take this,” the man tried to hand the beta the card.

“Nope, I’ve got it, be right back,” Roman grinned, as he turned to make his way to the cafe the next floor down. 

When he returned, he placed the coffee in front of the other man before setting a small creamer next to it.

“If you’re anything like me, you’re desperately in need of large amounts of caffeine, so I brought you an extra large, but then I wasn’t sure if one cream was enough so I brought this too, they put one in already, though,” Roman said, slightly flustered.

The other man blinked, looked a little flustered as well, “Thanks so much, you didn’t have to do that,” he said sincerely, running a hand through his wavy hair, “You’re right though, I feel like I’ll need to run on caffeine for the rest of this week to make it through.”

Roman grinned, “No problem,” he replied as he slid back into his seat.

“I’m Janus, by the way,” the man said, holding out his hand. The beta took it in his own, “Roman, it’s nice to meet you,” he said as their fingers clasped together.

The shock that flashed under their skin was surprising, and Roman jumped slightly. He looked at Janus, who looked taken aback, as well. That type of shock was connected to signaling people who would fit well together as mates. It was also quite rare to find someone in that way.

“Woah,” Janus breathed, green eyes wide, “did you…”, he broke off.

“I felt it, too,” Roman breathed, realizing their hands were still clasped together.

“I’ve never experienced that before,” Janus said reverently, and Roman smiled as he agreed.

“Are...you an alpha?” Roman asked, feeling his heart fluttering as he waited for an answer.

Janus nodded, “Yes...are you-”, Roman cut him off gently, “I’m a beta,” he answered the half spoken question quickly.

Janus hummed thoughtfully and they carefully unclasped their hands. He kept his hand on the table, one finger tracing the tabletop idly as he thought. Looking back up after several quiet moments he asked, “Roman, would like to go on a date sometime?” the alpha asked, his green eyes hopeful. Roman nodded, smiling widely, “Definitely.”

Janus smiled and looked down at his coffee, brushing his thumb across the side of the cup, “This is crazy...in a good way,” he added quickly, glancing back up at the beta across the table.

Roman laughed, “Certainly not what I was expecting to happen when I came to the library today,” he agreed, looking back at the alpha.

“I don’t know how I’m going to focus on studying now,” Janus said lightly, but not looking upset at the prospect.

Roman giggled nervously, “Pretty much,” he agreed.

“Wanna gather up our stuff and go for a walk?” Janus asked, trying to sound calm and smooth.

Roman immediately smiled, “Absolutely,” he agreed and they moved to pack up their school materials. Roman tugged his sweatshirt on before swinging his backpack up over both shoulders. He grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip as he watched Janus tug a leather jacket on before placing a smart looking shoulder bag over his head.

The two men made their way towards the main exit.

***

They walked along the sidewalk that stretched across the College Green in the middle of campus. 

“So,” Roman said, “Now that you know a little bit more about me, what do you think?”

Janus blinked before laughing, surprised by Roman’s blunt question, “Well, during the whole 2 hours that I’ve known you I can tell that we have a great deal of things in common. You seem confident, funny and passionate about lots of things. I definitely am attracted to what I’ve seen so far.”

Roman smiled as he nodded, moving to zip his hoodie against the autumn chill in the air, “We do seem to sort of click, huh?” He shoved his hands into his pockets, thinking about how to bring up their soul marks.

“I can hear you thinking, what’s going on up there?” Janus asked kindly.

“Well...since we know there's some type of connection...should we see if we share the same soul mark? Or at least half of one?” Roman asked, feeling unsure as he glanced up at the taller man.

Janus thought for a moment before agreeing, “Is yours somewhere that’s easily accessible while we’re outside?” he asked.

Roman nodded, “Do you want to sit for a minute?” he gestured to one of the many wooden benches lining the maze of sidewalks.

Janus nodded and they sat, close but not touching and looked at one another for a long moment. “Mine is on my forearm,” Janus said, moving to roll back the sleeve of his jacket. Roman looked down as the mark against the olive toned skin was exposed...and his heart sank.

“Mine...is on the back of my neck,” the beta replied, turning so his back was facing Janus and he tugged down the collar of his shirt, revealing his own soul mark, “But I don’t think they match, do they…” he trailed off before turning back around to look up into the taller man’s eyes.

Janus was frowning, “You’re right, I don't think they match, even halfway,” he said quietly. He was lost in thought for several moments before he tentatively held out his hand. Roman slid his own into it gently and the spark shot across their skin for a second time that night.

“I don’t actually know anyone who has met someone else with an entire matching soulmark, do you?” Janus asked, and Roman shook his head. “I believe it’s pretty rare. But...I’ve never felt this connection like when our hands touch with anyone. I do have a good friend who met his wife that way, though.”

Roman nodded, biting his lip in thought over the situation.

“I have a really good feeling about this, Roman,” the alpha said quietly, “and I’d love to take you on a date to see if we connect even more than we have tonight. How do you feel about that?” His green eyes locked onto the beta’s and he anxiously waited for an answer.

“I don’t know anyone with an entire matching soulmark either,” Roman admitted, glancing down at their hands which were still clasped together. “And I’ve definitely never felt this type of connection with anyone, either.” He looked up to meet the alpha’s eyes again, “I’d love to go out with you sometime and see where this goes.”

Janus smiled, flashing his perfect white teeth, “Really?”

Feeling warm and flustered in a lovely way, Roman smiled back and nodded, “Yep.” He squeezed Janus’ hand.

“Well I know it’s nearly finals week and we both have lots of studying to do but, would you like to go on a date this weekend?” Janus asked.

“Sounds great,” Roman grinned, feeling giddy at the prospect of spending more time with this man. “What day were you thinking?”

“Does Saturday evening work?” Janus asked, “I feel like I could get most of my studying done by then and just be able to relax and focus on you.”

“That sounds perfect, I’ll try to do the same,” the beta grinned.

“Awesome,” Janus said, looking as thrilled as Roman felt in that moment. “I would love to walk you home if you’re comfortable with that? I know sometimes it’s a little nerve wracking to show someone you don’t know that well yet where you live, so I won’t be offended at all if you want me to just say goodnight right here.”

Honestly, this guy was too adorable. Roman laughed, “I wouldn’t mind getting walked home but I usually take the bus back to my apartment complex, it’d be a hell of a walk for you to get back to wherever you live.”

“I’m over on the other side of town, at the Spring Hill apartments,” Janus explained, “I drove my car here to go to the library, I’m parked over there around the corner.” He gestured towards the main street through the uptown part of campus.

Roman thought for a moment, “I’m at University Commons,” he said, nodding in the opposite direction. Roman checked the time, “I’ve got 10 minutes until the bus is here,” he said, “Do you want my number?”

“Absolutely,” Janus grinned, pulling out his own phone. They exchanged devices and typed in their respective numbers before moving to stand from the bench. “This is the last thing I dreamed would happen tonight, but I’m so very glad that it did,” the alpha said, running a hand through his dark, wavy hair.

“Yeah it’s been pretty crazy, in a good way,” Roman agreed.

“Here, I’ll walk you to the bus stop,” Janus offered, and they began walking down one of the sidewalks that intersected off the main one up the middle of the College Green. They walked in a comfortable silence and when they approached the bench, Janus held out his hand. Roman took it and almost fainted at the rush of butterflies when the alpha leaned in and kissed the back of his hand.

“So, I’ll text you about Saturday?” he asked.

“Can’t wait,” Roman agreed, feeling his cheeks flush. Today was Thursday, so it wasn’t that long until he’d hopefully see this incredible man again.

“Have a wonderful rest of your night, Roman,” Janus said, squeezing his hand once before dropping it and stepping back.

“Goodnight,” Roman answered, feeling dizzy in the most wonderful way possible.

Janus adjusted his bag and glanced up, seeing the bus coming down the street, “I'll talk to you soon,” he said brightly before turning to walk up the sidewalk towards where he’d parked earlier that evening.  
Roman made it home and flopped onto his back on his bed, the smile on his face so large that his cheeks were starting to ache. He laid there for a long while as he wondered what kind of adventure he’d just signed up for with Janus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates, scent marking, courting and first times.

Janus: Hey! How’s your day going?

Roman: Long but pretty good, I’m determined to get my term paper for psych finished up tonight, I don’t want to look at it anymore! How is yours?

Janus: Not too bad, just taking a quick walk to get some air and clear my head before I shut myself back into my room to study.

Roman decided to be his usually self and be bold in asking this man out.

Roman: Still interested in that date Saturday night?

Janus: Definitely! Anything in particular you’d like for us to get into?

Roman: Nope, surprise me :P I’m up for anything

Janus: Hmm, I’ll have to think of something good then, won’t I? :)

Several weeks later, Roman was pacing back and forth through the kitchen in his apartment, waiting as nervous excitement bubbled inside his stomach. He and Janus had texted quite a bit over the past few weeks and he was already fairly convinced they would fit well together. The initial date had gone smoothly, they’d flirted and gotten to know one another while they’d painted canvases at an open paint night downtown. Their conversations were entertaining and they’d already discussed a wide variety of topics, and with each passing conversation, Roman felt his affection for the man increase.

Finals had thankfully passed and there was a bit of downtime before Thanksgiving. Janus’ parents had gotten divorced many years ago and still refused to get together for holidays. Once he’d gone away to college he realized what a toxic environment his home life had been and he felt very little guilt for remaining at school, surrounded by friends who actually cared about him. Roman’s family had gone out of state to spend the holiday with relatives, and he had politely declined. 

He and Janus were going to spend several days together to see how their relationship might fair if they decided to become mates someday. This was an extremely common practice and Roman’s parents had understood when he explained the situation. “Mom, I really think he could be the one,” Roman had said, laughing when his mother had squealed on the other end of the phone line.

He heard a knock at the door and wandered over to look out through the eye glass hole. Grinning, he opened the door, “Hey Jan, you didn’t have to come all the way up here, I was expecting a text.”

Janus smiled back, shrugging, “I thought you might like some help carrying your bag down to the car?” Roman blushed, holding the door open for the other man.

“Be right back,” Roman said, moving to the living room to grab his bag from an armchair. His roommates had gone home for the holiday, so he double checked everything was turned off and locked up before they walked down the stairs and out to the parking lot. Janus carried Roman’s bag over one shoulder as they made small talk and moved towards his car. He opened the passenger side door for Roman, who thanked him quietly and slid into the seat. Janus placed the overnight bag in the back seat before moving to get in the driver’s seat.

“Are you ready for this?” Roman teased, turning to look at the other man. Janus grinned and leaned forward to kiss Roman gently, “Absolutely.”

***

They were laying together on the couch, watching Steven Universe and talking easily. Janus was lying behind Roman, propped up on a pillow so he could curl his arm around the other man’s waist and still see over his head as they watched TV. Roman smiled and closed his eyes, quietly inhaling the scent of the alpha snuggled up behind him. They’d made out many times over the last three days but hadn’t scented one another yet. That was viewed as a definitive symbol of a relationship moving from dating to courting, and they’d been waiting to see how their time together this week would go before either could decide if it was right.

“Hmm, you’re cold,” Janus commented, snuggling a little closer as his hand traced over one of Roman’s. The beta turned over to face him and grinned, “This isn’t new, I’m always cold, Jan.”

“True,” Janus conceded, “maybe you’re cold blooded like a snake?” he teased.

Roman playfully scowled at him, “No way! If I was anything I think I’d be a dog, I’m always full of energy, easily distracted and will eat anything you put in front of me.”

Janus laughed at the accurate comparison, “I see your point,” he said, pressing a kiss to Roman’s forehead.

“Maybe you should find a way to keep me warm,” Roman said lightly, “It is the end of November, after all.”  
“I don’t know how many more blankets I’ll need to pile on top of you,” the alpha teased, “You’ve already got three layered on right now.”

Roman moved to press his hand against Janus’ chest, feeling the warmth of his skin radiating through his t-shirt. “Hmm, guess I need to just get closer to you,” the beta remarked before snuggling in to press his face against Janus’ warm chest.

“Ro, do you want to go upstairs to my room?” Janus asked softly, stroking his hand through Roman’s golden blonde hair. Roman pulled his face away from the other man’s chest and looked up at him. “I can think of a few ways to warm you up...if you want to,” Janus said, and the underlying implication was clear.

“I’d love that,” Roman said, feeling his cheeks flush as he contemplated what that might entail, “are you ready for that?”

“Yeah, I have been for a while, I just wanted to make sure you felt that way too,” the alpha said quietly.

Roman scooted off the couch and grabbed the taller man’s hand before they moved to walk up the stairs.

Once inside Janus’ bedroom, he closed the door and flipped the light switch on the wall, turning on a lamp in the corner of the room.

They lay down on the bed, leaning back against the pile of pillows and Janus cradled Roman to his side, brushing his other hand across the beta’s high cheekbone. They lay together in comfortable silence for a long while before Janus asked, “May I scent mark you, Ro?”

Roman inhaled quickly and nodded, moving to shrug out of his shirt before lying back down. Janus also removed his shirt and his large hands gently stroked along the beta’s arm and across the planes of his back. The alpha leaned in to press featherlight kisses along Roman’s jawline, slowly moving down to his neck to nuzzle against the scent glands there.

“I love you, Ro,” Janus whispered against his skin before darting out his tongue to lick his neck. Roman gasped at the sudden pleasure shooting through his body at the claiming behavior. His eyes fell closed as he moaned happily, rolling his head to the side to offer himself up to the other man. Janus pressed kisses and tiny nips to the skin of Roman’s neck, feeling the intoxicating pull of Roman’s pheromones as he inhaled the scent of the man he hoped to turn into his mate. He pulled away and Roman dove in to scent mark the alpha in the same way.

By the time Roman pulled away, he was hard and his cock pressed uncomfortably against his jeans. He looked up at Janus, his eyes wide and trusting as he felt his nervousness begin to calm, taking in the alpha’s pheromones. 

“I love you, too,” Roman said softly, feeling his heart squeeze at the look on Janus’ face at the declaration. The alpha stroked Roman’s hair as he tried to collect his thoughts.

“Are you ready for this?” Janus asked, looking down into large blue eyes.

Roman nodded, “Yes, I want us to be together, I really think this is going to work out.”

“So you’ll let me start courting you?” Janus clarified, grinning.

“Definitely,” Roman answered happily before leaning in to kiss the other man sweetly on the lips.

“We don’t have to have sex yet if you aren’t ready,” Janus pointed out, looking nervous as he spoke, “but I’m also ready whenever you want to.”

Roman looked up at him and moved to caress the side of his face. This was completely normal, and he knew Janus wouldn’t hurt him. He’d also secretly been hoping this would happen while they spent this week together.

“I’m ready, I want you,” Roman replied happily, moving in to kiss the alpha again slowly.

Janus pulled himself away several moments later as they caught their breath, “If you ever change your mind or want to stop, just let me know. And that definitely applies now and forever in the future, okay?”

Roman agreed and leaned back in to kiss Janus again. Soon he found himself pinned against the bedspread and his hands skimmed over any skin he could reach as the other man carefully removed their clothing. He leaned over to the bedside table and grabbed lube and a condom, setting them within reach on the bed before leaning back in to kiss Roman deeply. Roman moaned at the blissful feeling of finally having skin on skin and he arched up into the alpha’s touch.

The alpha moved to press kisses along Roman’s jaw and down his neck, licking the skin around his scent glands and grinning as the beta shivered happily. He moved lower until he reached Roman’s cock, glancing up at the other man for permission. Upon seeing the beta nod enthusiastically, Janus licked around the head of Roman’s cock, savoring the moan he heard in response before sucking the hard length down. He swallowed the beta’s cock down until it was completely covered and licked everywhere he could reach as he moved his head up and down.

The alpha placed strong hands against Roman’s hips, pressing them against the bed to keep the other man from thrusting up too far and gagging him. He also noticed that the beta seemed to enjoy the sensation of being held down, as he keened each time his fingers pressed down a little harder. Definitely something to investigate later on. 

Roman dug one hand into Janus’ wavy hair and cried out, “Jan...close!” Janus reached up to massage his balls as he bobbed his head over his cock faster, relishing the taste of precome coating his tongue. Roman made a small noise and his back arched off the bed, stomach going tight a few moments before he came, spurting his come into the alpha’s mouth before flopping back, feeling exhausted.

Janus swallowed everything he gave him and pulled off before leaning up to lay beside Roman, propping up on an elbow to watch him. “Did I break you?” he teased and Roman rolled his eyes.

“Shut up and give me a minute, I’ll return the favor,” he said, grinning.

“Actually, I’d be perfectly fine if we skipped that part for now and move onto the part where I fuck you into the mattress,” Janus said, his tone light.

Roman turned to look at him for a moment before laughing, “Well, damn, let’s skip to that part. I didn’t even think you were capable of talking like that, Jan,” he teased.

“Oh, I’m sure there’s lots of things we’ll discover about one another if we keep going, Ro,” the alpha replied, moving up to kiss his cheek. Roman caught him and pressed their lips together before he could pull away, dipping his tongue inside to taste himself. After a long moment, Janus pulled away and turned to grab the lube and condom off the bedspread. He squeezed some out onto his fingers and carefully nudged Roman’s thighs apart before settling onto his stomach in between them.

The alpha kissed over the inside of his thighs as he circled the beta’s hole, rubbing gently until Roman relaxed enough for him to press inside. He glanced up to check on his boyfriend but he was laying back against the pillows, looking content as he closed his eyes and bit his lip. Janus moved his finger in and out slowly at first until Roman’s walls loosened enough to add the second finger. The beta moaned and tried to keep his hips still, but found it difficult when Janus brushed against the perfect spot and he saw stars.

“Fuck, please, Jan,” Roman whined, thrusting back onto the alpha’s slick fingers. Janus grinned and tried to ignore the way his own cock twitched at the sound and pressed a third finger inside Roman. “I’m ready,” Roman said breathlessly a few minutes later, looking down at the man lying between his thighs. The alpha moved to sit up and squeezed more lube into the palm of his hand.

Janus ran his slicked hand over his aching cock, covering it with lube as he gazed down at the beta laying underneath him. He carefully moved to take Roman’s thighs and press them back towards his chest. Janus positioned the head of his cock against Roman’s hole and pushed in slowly, checking his boyfriend for any signs of pain or discomfort. Roman’s eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed at the unfamiliar stretch but didn’t exactly feel like he was in pain thanks to the preparation from Janus’ fingers from earlier. 

The alpha leaned down to brace himself up over Roman and he rocked gently, dipping a little deeper inside each time. When the top of his thighs finally met the backs of Roman’s, he kissed the beta gently, “You okay, Ro?”

“Yes, please keep going, Jan,” Roman answered happily, eyes still closed as he concentrated on all of the sensations coursing through his body at the moment. The alpha leaned down to slide their mouths together in a sensual kiss, his tongue dipping in to taste the other man’s tongue as he started moving his hips again. Roman’s legs came to wrap around his calves, their legs entwining together as Janus reached down to stroke Roman’s hard cock, which was bouncing between their stomachs.

They moved cautiously, making love slowly as they scented one another. Roman bit down on the skin at the junction of Janus’ neck and shoulder and the alpha cried out blissfully. The beta reached up to frame Janus’ face in his hands and kissed him desperately as their bodies slid together over and over again. Janus changed the angle of his hips until Roman moaned loudly, the sound muffled as their lips moved together. 

“Yes, Jan, harder, I won’t break!” Roman moaned happily, feeling sparks shoot across his skin as the alpha’s cock brushed against his prostate. He felt his legs being pressed back to touch his chest and Janus picked up the pace, driving into Roman more quickly. The beta reached down to tug at his own cock, feeling his fingers slide along the top easily as precome beaded at the tip. 

“Oh my God, baby, you feel so good,” Janus breathed as he tipped his head back.

“Make me come, Jan, I need to come so badly,” Roman begged, feeling fire rising inside his stomach. 

Janus moaned and began thrusting his leaking cock in and out of Roman’s tight hole fiercely, anxious to comply with the beta’s request. He blinked sweat out of his eyes as he looked down at Roman, who was jerking his cock in time with their movements.

“Come on, beautiful, let me see you fall apart,” Janus groaned as he felt his stomach begin to spasm.

“Yes, yes, so good,” Roman muttered to himself, his back arching back as he furiously moved his hand up and down his cock. His orgasm was so close he could almost taste it. 

“Jan, fuck...yes!” Roman screamed as his orgasm slammed into him, causing his body to shake as cock exploded, shooting white strings of come along his chest. It seemed to go on forever and he felt boneless as he lay back against the pillows on the bed. Janus felt his balls draw in tightly and he moaned his completion as he emptied himself inside Roman’s ass. His hips slowed before finally stuttering to a stop, breathing hard as he tried to catch his breath.

Janus moved sideways to collapse on the bed next to Roman, and they kissed each other slowly, their movements lazy as their lips slipped together. Janus felt Roman smile against his mouth and he pulled back just enough to look at the beta, who looked disheveled and fucked out. His skin was flushed, his bangs clung to his forehead with sweat.

“You okay, baby?” Janus asked quietly, carding his hand through Roman’s damp hair and searching his face for any signs of distress.

Roman laughed, “I feel amazing, Jan, you?” he asked, feeling exhausted as his hands traced over the alpha’s skin.

“Fantastic,” Janus replied, grinning as he leaned in to kiss him again.

They lay curled together in a comfortable silence for a long while, fingertips tracing over sweat slicked skin, both men unwilling to pull away from the embrace.

“So we’re courting now, right? Is there anything else we do?” Roman asked, nuzzling his alpha’s neck.

“Yes, we’re officially courting now, no we don’t need to do anything else,” Janus murmured against the beta’s hair as he smiled. “We should probably get cleaned up at some point,” he added as he curled closer to the beta laying beside him.

Roman whined, “Nooo, I don’t want to move, I’m comfortable,” he said as he wrapped his arms around the taller man.

“We could go take a shower together,” Janus pointed out temptingly, “and then we could come back here and snuggle up to watch TV. And eventually go for round two?” He nipped at the skin near Roman’s scent gland.

“Alright, you’ve convinced me,” Roman conceded, laughing as he heard the last suggestion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus and Roman switch things up because Janus will try anything once.

The rest of their week together alternated between snuggling together, watching terrible movies on Netflix and having sex on every surface of Janus’ apartment they could manage. Once they’d had a taste of how fantastic this new type of intimacy felt, they found themselves easily distracted when their pheromones would flare out to entice one another.

The night before Roman was scheduled to return back to his own apartment, he found himself wrapped around Janus as his back was pressed up against the wall in the hallway. Janus had scooped him up easily and was pinning him against the wall with his hips and strong arms. 

“Bedroom?” Janus asked in between kissing and biting at Roman’s skin on his neck.

“Yes, please,” the beta agreed, grinning as he was carried down the hallway. Janus walked into his bedroom with Roman still clutched tightly in his arms and he leaned down to lay his boyfriend against the sheets of the bed. They struggled out of their clothing as quickly as possible and Roman grabbed the lube and a condom from the bedside table before lying back against the pillows.

Janus shifted down to take Roman’s aching cock into his mouth smoothly, swallowing him down to the base. Roman cried out happily and reached down to anchor one of his hands in the alpha’s wavy hair. He swirled his tongue around and reached out to grab the bottle of lube as his mouth worked Roman into a frenzy. He coated his fingers and pressed one inside carefully as he bobbed his head up and down Roman’s cock.

Roman hissed in discomfort and unintentionally tried to pull away. Janus immediately stilled and popped his mouth off of the beta’s cock.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Janus asked, his eyes showing concern as he searched Roman’s face.

“Sorry, that just hurt, maybe we just need more lube,” Roman suggested, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at the alpha.

Janus’ brow furrowed in thought as he squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and slowly moved to massage Roman’s hole, watching the beta’s reactions. He seemed happy and comfortable as he flopped back against the pillows and after a long time, Janus slipped his finger back inside Roman’s body.

Roman tensed but didn’t speak as Janus slowly moved his finger in and out, stretching him carefully. When he added a second finger in beside the first, Roman whined quietly, “Stop for a second.”

Janus carefully pulled his fingers out gently and crawled up beside his beta to lie down next to him. Roman turned his head to the side and looked away, “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong tonight,” he muttered, feeling embarrassed. 

“Ro, it’s fine, I don’t want to hurt you,” Janus tried to reassure him, reaching out to take his face in his hand gently and turning it back so their eyes could meet.

Roman sighed, looking disappointed, “Well...I guess there is such a thing as too much sex,” he said before smirking, “I didn’t think you’d break me, though!” he teased.

“I didn’t think about that happening either but I’m glad you let me know before we kept going, I’d feel so terrible if I hurt you,” Janus said, kissing the beta lovingly. Roman sighed as the alpha’s lips met his and after a long, deep kiss he pulled away.

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to let me suck you off,” Roman smirked, starting to slide down to put his mouth on Janus’ skin. A gentle hand stopped him, and he looked up, confused.

“Or...we could flip our roles and you could top me?” Janus suggested quietly. 

Roman blinked in surprise, “What? Alpha’s don’t usually bottom, though, you wouldn’t like it, Jan,” he said, propping up on his elbow to look Janus in the eye.

Janus shrugged, moving to brush Roman’s blonde hair away from his forehead, “I mean...I’ve never tried it so maybe I’d like it,” he pointed out.

Roman huffed a laugh, but his expression changed as he saw the look on Janus’ face, “You’re serious? You want me to try penetrating you this time?” he asked.

Janus nodded, “You never know, maybe it’ll be my new favorite thing,” he said teasingly, “but if you don’t want to try that we certainly don’t have to, Ro.”

Roman thought for a long moment. The idea of topping Janus instantly made his cock harden with interest. He’d fantasized about it but always assumed he’d actually get the chance to be the top participant in several years when they added another beta or an omega to their family. 

“You really want to try it out?” Roman asked, looking up at his boyfriend for confirmation.

“Yeah, if you do, as well,” Janus reassured him, smiling softly. Roman’s heart felt like it was suddenly filled with butterflies as he looked at the love etched across the alpha’s face.

“Okay,” he agreed quietly with a smile of his own. He glanced around for the lube as he tried to decide what to do first. Then an idea struck him suddenly.

“You could sit in my lap and ride me, then you’d still be the more dominant one,” Roman pointed out, his cock aching at the mental image his words conjured.

Janus looked thoughtful before nodding, “That’s...actually a great idea, Ro.”   
Roman grinned before asking, “I should finger you first, right?”

Janus nodded again, “Probably, just so you can slide into me more easily,” he agreed.

Roman’s cock was rock hard at this point and he crawled up to kiss his boyfriend deeply, pressing his tongue in to taste him. He continued to kiss the other man as he popped the cap on the lube and covered his fingers with the slick substance. He reached down between Janus’ thighs and nudged them apart. The alpha bent one knee and moaned against Roman’s mouth as one slick finger circled his hole carefully.

The beta continued exploring Janus’ mouth with his tongue as he slowly pressed inside his boyfriend’s body. Janus inhaled sharply but kissed him back enthusiastically, seeming to not feel any discomfort. Roman worked his finger in and out of the taller man, stretching him open before Janus started rocking his hips against his hand. Taking that as a positive sign, Roman slipped a second finger inside his hole and searched for that perfect spot. It took several tries before his fingertips brushed against the prostate but Janus moaned loudly into Roman’s mouth once he found it. After adding a third finger, just in case, Roman pulled back and looked at Janus, who smiled at him reassuringly.

Janus moved to squeeze lube into his palm and he ran his slick hand over Roman’s cock, coating it thoroughly. He looked at Roman, “If you’re still okay, lie back?”

Roman felt nervousness coursing through his body and he tried to tell himself to calm down as he scooted up to lay back with his head against the pillows. Janus moved to straddle him and kissed him gently for several moments, “You ready?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, just… tell me if you change your mind or need to stop, okay?” Roman said in a slight rush, placing his hands against Janus’ hips tentatively. The alpha smiled, “Same goes for you, if you’re uncomfortable, just tell me,” he said. Janus reached down to grip Roman’s leaking cock and positioned himself above the head. It took several tries before they found the right angle but once they did, Janus slid onto Roman’s cock slowly. He kept his eyes on Roman as he sank down onto the hard cock, eager to see his initial reaction. Roman groaned loudly and his eye fluttered as he moaned, “Oh my God, yes,” his fingers tightening around Janus’ hips.

The alpha grinned and placed his hands on Roman’s chest, starting to move his hips up and down, moaning at the wonderful sensation of his boyfriend’s cock filling him up. Unable to help himself, Janus leaned down to capture Roman’s lips in a kiss as he rode his cock, trying to find a rhythm. The beta moaned against his mouth and one hand moved to grip the back of Janus’ head, anchoring him in place. Roman tried to shift his hips, hoping the change would help the head of his cock find Janus’ prostate. Janus grinned and sat back, pausing his movements for a moment before urging Roman sit up, their chests pressed together. The beta’s hands came to snake around Janus’ waist and he looked up into his bright green eyes, waiting to see what would happen next.

Janus adjusted his legs before gripping Roman’s shoulders. Once he was comfortable, he started to move his hips up and down again. The change in angle felt incredible and both men moaned happily, leaning in to kiss each other. Janus quickly took control and bounced up and down on Roman’s cock, savoring the wet slide and the feeling of being full. Roman cried out, desperately trying to keep his orgasm at bay, not wanting this to be over so soon. He reached between them and started jerking the alpha’s cock the best he could as he was ridden into the bed. Janus threw his head back and groaned, fucking himself harder onto Roman’s cock.

“Jan,” Roman gasped shakily, gripping him tighter and the alpha knew he was warning that he was close to coming.

“Come on, baby, fill me up with your come,” Janus urged him on as he continued fucking himself on Roman’s cock. Roman leaned forward to press his face against Janus’ chest and moaned loudly as he shook. Janus felt Roman’s cock spurting hot come up inside him and he moaned at the sensation. He quickly took himself in hand and jerked his cock quickly, hitting all of his favorite spots so he could come quickly and not overstimulate Roman. Soon he found himself coming and he shot white streaks of come up against Roman’s stomach, finally allowing his hips to come to a stop. Both men looked at each other for a long moment silently before Janus kissed Roman tenderly.

“I loved that,” the alpha admitted happily, carefully moving to ease himself off Roman’s softening cock. They lay down facing each other and Roman looked thoroughly fucked out as he smiled back, “So did I.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something doesn't feel quite right but Janus can't place his finger on the issue. Roman makes a very stupid choice and their relationship changes drastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started writing this a few months ago, it was all smut and no plot. So yes, I'm skipping a few months into the future because I'm impatient and I need my boys to experience angst so they can grow from it and do other things later. :D

Roman quickly shrugged out of his clothes and turned to get on his hands and knees on the bed. That was new, they didn’t usually try this position. Both men usually loved having eye contact, but Janus shrugged the thought off as he slipped off his own jeans. 

He slicked his fingers with lube and slowly started to prep his boyfriend but Roman was quick to ask for two and to hurry.

“Just do it, I want your cock,” Roman groaned, wiggling his hips as he tried to entice the alpha to go ahead and fuck him.

Janus lined up and rubbed the slick head of his cock against Roman’s hole, teasing him but not yet entering him. Roman took matters into his own hands and thrust back against the hard cock, groaning as it slid into his ass. The beta immediately began thrusting against Janus’ cock hard, fucking himself on the slick hardness.

The alpha was surprised but placed his hands against Roman’s hips and let Roman take the control he obviously craved tonight. The beta adjusted the angle of his hips and moaned loudly as Janus’ long cock brushed against his prostate. 

The bed was shaking as they fucked fiercely, the headboard hitting the wall at times. Janus also realized they weren’t speaking, weren’t asking for what they wanted, weren’t expressing their love for one another. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the uncomfortable feeling starting to swirl in the pit of his stomach. Something didn’t feel quite right.

Roman fucked himself on Janus’ cock and the alpha noticed when he took himself in hand without a word, jerking himself roughly. The beta cursed and his body squeezed around Janus’ cock as he came, spurts of come shooting onto the sheets underneath him. He moved his hand back to the bed to steady himself as Janus continued to pound into his ass, still not speaking and bending his head down. For the first time he could remember since they’d gotten together, Janus was actually relieved and not disappointed as he came quickly, pumping his come into Roman’s body. Before he could even catch his breath, Roman was pulling away and flopping onto his side, facing the wall and settling his head against the pillows.

Feeling uneasy, Janus sank down to the bed and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling as he caught his breath. 

“You okay, Ro?” the alpha asked eventually, unable to deal with the uncharacteristic silence that was blanketing over them tonight.

“I’m fine, just tired,” the beta answered, tugging the sheet up over his waist, not moving to snuggle against the alpha as he normally did after they had sex. Janus frowned and felt his worry and uneasiness already morphing into a headache as he laid back against the pillows.

When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he slid over to press a kiss to Roman’s bare shoulder, caressing his lower arm as he did so, “Goodnight,” he whispered, hoping he would get some sort of physical response.

“Night,” Roman said softly, burying himself under the covers, pulling them up to cover his nose. Realizing he wouldn’t receive more of a response than that, Janus pulled away to lay back against the sheets. He didn’t move to snuggle up behind the beta, having an uncomfortable feeling the gesture would be rejected. Janus laid awake for a long time, staring at the ceiling and running over possible reasons for Roman’s emotional distance tonight. After trying to convince himself that everything was fine and couples are bound to have off days sometimes, Janus finally closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep.

***

The next morning, Janus awoke to find himself alone in the bed. Roman must have crawled over him very carefully in an effort to not wake him. 

Janus dialed his boyfriend's number, throat feeling a little tight as he waited for the line to pick up.

“Hey, Ro, I missed you this morning,” he said as he traces his finger around the edge of his coffee cup.

“Hey, yeah, sorry I just had a lot of work to get started on today. You looked like you were sleeping so deeply I didn’t wanna wake you up,” Roman replied.

“Oh, Ro, I’ll never mind if you wake me up. That’s so sweet of you, though,” the alpha said, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter as he popped a coffee pod into his machine.

“Oh, good to know...Hey, there's a party this Friday at Joan’s, do you wanna go with me?” Roman asked, sounding hopeful.

“Ro, I have so much studying to get finished before this exam, I don’t want to have to take it more than once. I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to pass on that,” Janus explained, hoping to soothe the sting of rejection.

Apparently, his tone did nothing to aid the situation because Roman immediately sounded irritated when he spoke again, “You never come out with me anymore. Ever. We used to do that all the time and it was so great!”

“Baby, I’m sorry, I just really need to focus on studying right now,” Janus sighed, “But I could try to take you out to lunch on Saturday or Sunday? You know I want to see you, I just feel like I can’t afford to miss out on an entire evening of studying.”

“We’ll see,” Roman said, sounding bored, “Hey, I’ll talk to you later, I need to go write a paper, bye.”

By the time Janus had opened his mouth to bid Roman farewell, the phone had clicked to disconnect the call. He frowned down at his phone screen and felt taken aback. Had he really pissed the beta off so much because he didn’t want to go out and party?

Janus sighed and shoved his phone in his pocket before moving to take his cup of coffee out from under the brewing station of the machine. As he sat down to drink it and read through the news, he felt like he couldn’t swallow. He sat at the table, puzzled for a long moment before he realized the pit in his stomach had grown much larger over the past 20 minutes. Something still didn’t feel quite right...But he shook his head and tried to shove the uncomfortable thoughts away. Roman loved him, they were courting, after all. Hopefully, Roman wouldn’t stay upset with him for long and everything would be alright.

***

By the time Friday night rolled around, Janus was a nervous wreck. He’d tried to talk to Roman all week but only received vague answers and he seemed distant. He’d asked what was wrong and how he could help but that only seemed to irritate the beta even further. 

Janus had almost decided to go with Roman to the party that night but his anxiety took over the decision and he ended up staying home to study. He was very frustrated by the time he got ready for bed, feeling as though his focus had been elsewhere and he’d not retained much information. 

The alpha texted Roman before he slipped into bed that night.

Janus: Hope you’re safe and having lots of fun, Ro. Maybe we can get together for dinner tomorrow? <3

He received no response but assumed Roman had his phone shoved in his pocket and was still out enjoying himself at Joan’s party.

But the next morning, there was still no response. He waited a few hours before trying again.

Janus: Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?

Again, he received no answer. When it was 4:30 in the afternoon and Janus hadn’t heard from Roman, he decided to go check in with him, just to make sure he was okay. He had bitten down his nails anxiously as he tried to study all day, and a few were stinging from where he’d gone too deep. 

Janus knocked on the door to Roman’s apartment and waited a long time before Logan came to the door.

“Greetings, Janus, I assume you’re here to visit Roman?” Logan asked, stepping aside so Janus could walk into the small apartment.

“He must be hungover or not feeling well,” Logan said, “he hasn’t been out of his room all day.”

Thanking Logan, Janus walked up the stairs and reached Roman’s bedroom door. He knocked quietly and heard grumbling on the other side. The door opened and Roman was standing there, looking extremely hungover. His eyes widened dramatically as he saw Janus and he tried to slip back into the shadows of his room.

“Hey, Ro, I just wanted to check in and make sure you made it home safely, I got a little worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you,” Janus said, feeling confused by his boyfriend’s skittish behavior. 

“Uhh, nope, I’m good, just super hungover, I had way too much to drink, you know me, sometimes I just can’t say no,” the beta rambled awkwardly, still hiding in the shadows of his room.

Something didn’t feel quite right and Janus debated about what to say. He finally settled on, “Ro, you don’t seem like yourself, are you okay, darling?”

At the mention of the pet name, Roman flinched. Janus felt anxiety curl inside his stomach. Something was definitely wrong.

“Roman…” Janus trailed off, unsure of what to say or do next.

“I’m really feeling pretty terrible, Jan, I think I just need to go back to bed,” Roman said stiffly.

“Okay, uhh, can I at least hug you before I go?” Janus asked.

Roman nodded slowly and let Janus lean forward to hug him, and he wrapped his own arms around the alpha in return. Roman was holding himself stiffly and smelled extremely nervous. Janus pulled back and looked down at the shorter man, “Roman, what’s going on? Something’s not right…” the alpha asked slowly.

Roman crossed his arms over his chest and pulled his hoodie tighter around his body, “I’m just feeling gross, nothing’s wrong, Jan.”

Janus didn’t respond. His gaze was locked on several purple bruises gracing Roman’s collarbone and traveling up his neck. Bruises he definitely had not placed there himself. They hadn’t been physically intimate for an entire week. Roman realized he’d noticed the marks and tugged his sweatshirt closer, unable to think of an explanation.

Janus blinked at the other man, “It looks like you had a pretty wild night,” he said evenly, forcing the anger welling up inside his chest to not burst out. Roman didn’t speak but seemed to shrink in on himself. Realizing that Roman wasn’t going to provide an answer, Janus exploded.

“Damn it, Roman, what are those from?” Janus snapped, gesturing to his neck.

“I think you already know what they’re from,” Roman said very softly, looking down at the ground.

Janus stood in disbelief as the words sank in, “So you went and fucked someone last night?” he asked. His heart had fallen into his stomach and he needed to be sick. This couldn’t really be happening.

“I didn’t mean to, I was just really drunk and it didn’t mean anything, baby,” Roman insisted, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he reached for Janus. The alpha shook his head, as he processed what was happening. 

He cut Roman off, holding up his hands, “Just...don’t. Don’t bother, I don’t want to know the details, Roman.” He stared at the other man and shook his head slowly.

“Jan, baby, please just let me-” Roman pleaded but Janus cut him off.

“No. This is simple, did you fuck someone last night or not? I don’t care what the reason was, did you fuck someone else?” Janus’ voice was ice cold as he spoke.

“Yes,” Roman whispered miserably, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Fuck off, Roman. I don’t give a shit what the reason was, I can’t believe you! I thought you had more self respect than that! Jesus, I can’t believe I fucking wasted a courtship on you,” Janus was disgusted and felt like his heart was breaking as he realized he’d tried to bond with this man who tossed his declaration aside like it was nothing.

He turned and walked back down the hallway without another word, ignoring Roman’s cries for him to stop. Janus immediately headed for the door and walked outside, desperate to be as far away from this place as possible. His hands were shaking violently as he tried to pull his keys out of his pocket to unlock his car. He finally managed and slipped into the seat. The drive home was a blur but he managed to make it without wrecking or hurting someone else.

The moment he was inside his apartment he locked the door and sank onto the couch. Janus curled forward, gripping his hair with both hands as he bent forward, willing the horrible feeling in his stomach to go away.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he whispered to himself and finally let himself cry. His chest was aching and all he could picture was his heart shattering into fractured pieces as his future with the man he loved so deeply slipped away. His mind kept conjuring images of Roman and the other man, moving together frantically on a bed or against a wall, despite his best efforts to focus on anything else. ‘How could he just throw this relationship away, just like that?’ Janus thought in disbelief.

He curled up into a ball on his side and held a pillow to his chest as he cried himself to sleep.

***

Roman: Jan, please answer me

Roman: We can talk this out, please don’t shut me out

Roman: Please call me back

Roman: I’m so unbelievably sorry

Janus turned his phone off and rolled back over on the couch, feeling absolutely miserable. He’d been saving up for the perfect engagement ring, they’d had so many conversations about mating this summer and then getting married. How could he just throw all of that away? What the hell had caused things to go so wrong?

Janus drifted in and out of sleep for a long while and was startled awake as someone knocked at his front door. He sighed heavily and trudged over to the door, opening it as his body worked on autopilot. Roman was standing on his doorstep. How had he not seen that one coming?

“What do you want, Roman?” Janus asked, his tone crisp as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Please let me talk to you about what happened,” Roman pleaded.

“I don’t see what there is to talk about,” Janus answered honestly, exhaustion weighing on him heavily.

Roman continued speaking anyway, “Jan, please, I was just really drunk, I honestly don’t even remember what happened. And I’m so fucking sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen, I love you so very much.”

Janus expected to feel anger at the declaration of love but vaguely registered that he only felt numb, “Roman,” he started and held up a hand to stop the beta from speaking again, “I don’t care that you were drunk. If you felt the need to get that wasted and fuck someone else, there’s probably an underlying issue here. You were distant and kept pulling away from me for the last few weeks and no matter what I did or said, you wouldn’t communicate with me about how you were feeling.”

Janus stared at Roman with a blank expression, daring him to say something else.

“Jan, I…” the beta’s words broke off as tears clogged his throat, desperately trying to come up with an explanation.

“I’m not sure what I did to make you pull away from me, but it was obviously something big,” Janus said, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. “I love you so much, Roman, but my heart is broken and this is over...we’re over,” the alpha said quietly. 

Roman started to plead with him once more but he took a step back and held up his hands, “No, I’m done. You can come in and grab your things but then I want you out. Becoming mates obviously isn’t going to work between us. I never want to see you again, Roman.”

Roman was pleading as he cried, moving forward to try and touch Janus’ arm. But the alpha jerked away from the touch of the man he loved and stepped to the side, refusing to meet Roman’s gaze. “Go grab your things, Roman,” he said quietly, feeling tears clog his own throat as he desperately tried to force them down.

Roman was frozen to the spot for a moment before moving inside and up the stairs towards the bedroom. Janus moved to the couch in a fog and sat down heavily, curling up and cradling a pillow against his chest. He heard Roman’s footsteps hurrying back down the stairs and he waited until the front door was closed before he allowed himself to weep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several months later, a disaster brings Janus and Roman back into contact.

Janus opened the door of his car and hurried across the grass of the apartment complex. Students were everywhere, some huddled together, some crying, and others looking numb. Debris littered the ground and he stepped over bits of it carefully as he walked. His eyes searched the crowd of people until he saw a bright blue sweatshirt. Patton.

He jogged over towards the person and as he came near he saw it was indeed Patton standing there, with Logan and Roman nearby as they made a small circle together. Logan was the first to notice Janus and he called out to him. Janus stepped up to the group and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank God, I’m so happy all three of you are okay,” Janus said breathlessly, almost getting knocked over as Patton tackled him in a tight hug. Once Patton released him, Logan extended one arm to hug him and then Janus turned towards Roman. The beta had his hands shoved in his pockets and was looking up at Janus, unsure of how to respond.

After only a moment’s hesitation, Janus stepped closer and held out his arms, smiling gently, “Hey, Ro,” he said softly. 

Roman immediately buried himself in the alpha’s arms and his hands clutched at his sweatshirt, “Hi Jan,” he said softly. 

Janus inhaled the scent of his ex-boyfriend and felt a sense of peace sweep over him. He could tell Roman was doing the same thing and he paused before pulling back gently, continuing to stand next to him as they turned back to face Logan and Patton.

“Where did you guys go when the storm hit?” Janus asked tentatively, glancing between his group of friends. 

Logan spoke up, “We started to go into the bathroom, as it has no windows and would theoretically be the safest place. But when we heard the whistling...when the tornado got very close in proximity to our apartment complex, then we heard students pounding on our door. They explained everyone was congregating in the first level apartments, so we followed them.”

“It was so...unbelievably loud when the...when the roof came off,” Patton added, his arms crossed over his chest as he shivered at the memory.

“And...everything’s just...gone now,” Roman said softly, sounding a little numb. He tugged the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head and looked down at the ground. Janus placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and slowly rubbed it soothingly. Roman was startled but didn’t pull away from the alpha’s comforting touch.

The apartment complex was essentially destroyed. Debris littered the ground as far as the eye could see and only a few walls were standing on the bottom level of the building. Their third story apartment was now nonexistent. The group of friends stood and tried to talk about little, inconsequential things until they all walked towards a group of emergency responders, who were beckoning the crowd to come closer. After listening to the emergency responders as they explained people could try to come back to retrieve any personal items tomorrow after they cleaned up as much dangerous debris as possible, Janus turned back to the group.

“I also came to offer you all a place to stay, for as long as you need,” the alpha explained gently. “I can’t imagine how difficult all of this is to think about right now but...I want you to know I’ll help all of you in any way I can.”

Logan and Patton agreed and threaded their hands together as they started to walk towards the road where Janus had found space to park. Janus started to follow them, expecting Roman to walk with him, but the beta stayed put. He was biting his lip and hugging his sweatshirt closer around himself as he looked uncomfortable. Janus turned towards Roman and beckoned. 

“Come on, Ro, there’s no way I’m leaving you here,” the alpha said quietly.

“You don’t have to do that,” Roman said, looking down at the ground, away from Janus’ eyes, “Just take Logan and Patton with you, I know that you don’t want to see me and it’s okay, I’ll figure something out” the beta added softly.

“I know I said that I never wanted to see you again, but I’ve calmed down and that statement was a little extreme. I was just upset,” Janus said, running a hand through his hair, looking a little sheepish, “Please come with us, Ro, I’d love to have you there and know that you’re safe.”

Roman hesitated before turning his bright blue eyes up to meet Janus’ gaze, whispering, “Are you sure…?”

The alpha nodded and held out an arm, inviting the beta closer, “I’m positive...you were the first thing on my mind when the storm hit, Ro,” he added honestly.

Roman’s eyes widened as he took in that bit of information before shaking himself to clear his thoughts and walking forward. He allowed himself to be enveloped by Janus’ strong arm. His arm stayed around Roman as they walked back to the car and neither man spoke.

When they were all piled into Janus’ car, they pulled away from the remains of the apartment complex. The radio played softly for some much needed background noise. Patton could be heard sniffing in the back seat and Janus felt his heart clench in sympathy for his friend.

“I know it is very upsetting, Patton but physical belongings are able to be replaced. Human lives are not and we should try to focus on the fact that we are all alive,” Logan said calmly. Patton cried as he leaned over and hugged his boyfriend and Logan tried to calm him with quiet murmurs in his ear.

Janus glanced over at Roman sitting in the front passenger seat next to him. The beta’s hands were anxiously picking at each other and the alpha reached over to gently grasp the closest hand. Roman was startled out of his swirling thoughts but allowed the other man to hold his hand reassuringly. 

Janus brushed his thumb over Roman’s knuckles absentmindedly as they continued to drive to the other side of town. The gesture was familiar and made his heart ache a little but he pushed the feeling down for now. There were more important things to focus on right now and dealing with his complicated feelings could wait. Once they reached his apartment, they made their way to his front door quietly, which Janus unlocked and held open for the group.

They settled onto the large, L-shaped couch with Patton and Logan at one end and Roman at the opposite end. Janus looked around at the slightly numb expressions on his three friends’ faces.

“Can I get you anything? Water, food…?” the alpha trailed off, glancing between the men on the couch. They all shook their heads and Janus sighed, “I know it’s probably the last thing on your mind but it’s been a long day, you all should try to eat something. I could order pizza?” he offered.

“That would be adequate and quick to try and eat,” Logan agreed, tightening his arm around Patton, who simply nodded and snuggled closer into his boyfriend’s side.

Janus turned to look at Roman who shrugged, “I’ll try to eat something but I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be able,” he said, “my stomach is in knots.”

“You all should at least try, and it’ll be here later if you feel up to it then,” Janus gently pointed out, moving into the kitchen to call and place the order. When he walked back out he quietly surveyed his three friends who were still sitting on the couch. Logan was absently running his hand up and down Patton’s arm as he held him close to his side. Patton’s eyes were red but he wasn’t crying at the moment. 

Janus glanced over at Roman who had kicked his shoes off and pulled his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his chin resting on his knees. He stared forward blankly and looked exhausted. Janus also realized they were all covered in varying amounts of dirt and grime after huddling on the floor and sitting outside after the tornado had passed.

“I can go grab some comfortable clothes for all of you,” Janus said, glancing around. “You’re more than welcome to go take a shower and get cleaned up.”

The alpha didn’t wait for an answer, and walked up to his room. He dug through his dresser for various soft articles of clothing. Janus came back down into the living room with the aforementioned clothing and handed a bundle to each man. 

After pressing a kiss to Patton’s head, Logan wandered into the bathroom first and the other three settled on the couch, watching the TV but not really seeing what was on the screen. Some time later, Logan walked out of the bathroom, now dressed in Janus’ clothing. He clutched his dirty clothes to his chest. Janus popped up to take the clothing from him, promising he’d get it all into the washer once everyone was finished. 

Patton moved to take a shower next and Logan took his place on the couch. After a moment Logan said, “I just realized I should call and inform my family that we are all unharmed, excuse me,” and he stood before walking to the front door and opening it to stand outside while he made the call.

“Have you gotten in touch with your Mom?” Janus asked Roman.

“No not yet...umm actually...would you mind if I used your phone for just a minute to call her?” Roman asked quietly, his cheeks flushed as he picked at the material of his jeans.

“Of course! Was your phone...in the apartment?” Janus asked carefully, digging his phone out of his pocket and extending the device out to the beta.

Roman nodded as he took the cell phone, “Thanks, I promise I won’t take long,” he said, glancing down at the phone and looking a little lost.

“Take as long as you want to, Ro, it’s really no problem,” the alpha insisted, reaching out to place his hand on Roman’s arm. The urge to protect his ex-boyfriend was hitting him so hard after everything that had happened today. Roman tried to smile and stood, walking into the kitchen and dialing his mother’s phone number.

“Hey, Mom,” the beta said, and Janus heard his voice break immediately as tears forced their way out, “Yes, I’m alright...so are Pat and Logan. Yeah, we’re...we’re at Janus’ apartment, he came to get us after the...storm hit…”

Janus popped up to answer the doorbell several moments later, paid the woman at the door and brought the food into the kitchen. He sat the pizzas on the counter before he stepped back out to give Roman some privacy but his heart ached at the sight of the beta so upset. Roman was standing by the window, looking out into the backyard, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up again as he spoke to his mother quietly in Spanish on the phone. He was still crying and his voice shook as he tried to speak and answer her questions.

Roman came back out into the living room several moments later, his eyes red and swollen from crying, but his face was dry from where he’d scrubbed the tears away. Patton came out of the bathroom and Roman slowly walked to switch places with him. 

“Please go ahead and eat guys, I’ll be right back,” Roman said quietly before shutting the bathroom door.

The other three sat around the kitchen table to eat while Roman showered and Logan did his best to make conversation with Janus. As expected, the small talk but it was obviously difficult, considering everything that had taken place today. Their home had been destroyed and they’d lost absolutely everything, save for the clothing they’d been wearing and whatever had been in their pockets. 

Roman joined them in the kitchen not long after and tried to eat a slice of pizza, but gave up after a few minutes. After placing the leftovers in the refrigerator, they all moved to sit in the living room once more.

When Patton yawned for the fourth time, Janus insisted that Logan and Patton take his bed whenever they were ready to sleep and he offered his guest bed to Roman.

“But...where will you sleep?” Roman asked in response, looking uncomfortable and toying with the pillow in his lap. 

“On the couch, it’s not a big deal, you all need somewhere to try and get some decent rest,” Janus explained, smiling. Roman nodded and they continued watching the TV. Not long after, Logan and Patton bid them goodnight and moved to walk up the stairs hand in hand and once they’d left the room, Roman stood.

“I’ll go get out of your hair in case you want to lay down,” the beta explained, feeling awkward as he looked at his ex boyfriend.

“You’re fine,” Janus answered gently, “you’re more than welcome to stay but I’ll understand if you need some space and some sleep.”

Roman sat back down on the opposite end of the sofa and curled his feet up underneath his body. Janus silently offered a fluffy blanket to the beta, remembering that he always curled up inside a blanket in the evenings to watch TV. Roman accepted it with a quiet thanks and Janus noticed his cheeks were flushed pink. 

They both watched the TV distractedly for a long while before Roman said very quietly, “I don’t even remember if I said something earlier...thank you for coming to check on us, and then for taking us in tonight.” 

He turned back to examine the pillow he was clutching to his chest as he began to ramble, “Everything was in the apartment...I don’t have my wallet but I promise I’ll pay you back as soon as I can get another bank card, and I don’t know how long we’ll be here but I’ll definitely help you pay for groceries and utilities and everything because we’ll be using up your things--” His jumble of words were cut off as Janus moved closer and placed one hand carefully on Roman’s shoulder.

“Roman, any of you paying me back is literally the farthest thing from my mind,” Janus tried to reassure him honestly, “and I’ll help all of you get set back up with your things and a new place to stay but I’m happy to let you all stay here for as long as you need. And absolutely none of you are paying me to live here, we’re friends and we’ve got each other's backs. I know it’s hard but please try to not worry about it.”

Roman looked like he wanted to argue but gave up when he saw the kind look on the alpha’s face as he rubbed his shoulder soothingly. 

“Okay...thanks,” Roman whispered, his brow furrowing as he tried not to cry again.

“Of course,” Janus answered, pulling his hand away from the beta’s shoulder gently. “As soon as I heard the tornado siren and turned on the TV...you were the first thing on my mind, I was so afraid something happened to you...and I’m so incredibly relieved that you’re safe,” the alpha added quietly.

Roman looked a little startled and glanced back down at the pillow in his lap. “I’m kind of surprised you cared about what happened to me...after I ruined everything a few months ago between us,” the beta said softly, his fingers toying with the corner of the pillow.

“Of course I cared about what happened to you,” Janus insisted, running a hand through his wavy, brown hair nervously. He thought for a long while before adding, “I still care for you so much, Ro, I’ve tried to stop...but I just can’t seem to manage it.” 

Roman stared at the alpha in disbelief and blinked at him. Janus held out his hand tentatively and the beta slipped his hand into the grasp. He barely tugged and Roman took the hint, cautiously scooting over to sit right next to him. They looked at each other silently for a long stretch of time before either one spoke again.

“I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you talk to me about what happened,” Janus said softly, his thumb brushing over Roman’s knuckles as he looked into his sky blue eyes.

“I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me, either,” Roman answered, sounding ashamed and looking down.

“Was it only the one time…?” Janus asked quietly. Roman flinched and nodded, before shrinking in on himself and pulling his hand out of the alpha’s. He looked down at his lap miserably and wanted to curl up and die on the spot.

‘It’s no wonder he feels uncomfortable,’ the alpha thought to himself, but his heart was screaming at him to do something, say something. 

Janus inhaled deeply before he reached out to caress the side of the beta’s face gently, “I forgive you, Ro,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Roman blinked up at him in disbelief. 

“Jan...” he finally said, his voice cracking and felt himself being pulled into a tight embrace. Roman’s arms wrapped around the alpha and his fingers dug into his strong back. Janus had one arm around Roman’s waist and brought the other up to cradle the back of his head. He held the smaller man against his chest and breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and savoring the scent he was putting off. 

Both men leaned in to scent mark one another’s neck, noses rubbing against the soft skin. The gesture was something only parents and their children or serious partners did. The unspoken meaning weighed heavily on both men. Roman’s heart clenched as he inhaled the alpha’s scent and he immediately felt his body relax at the comforting smell.

“God, I’ve missed you so much, Ro,” Janus whispered against his skin as he pulled him closer. His lips brushed against the delicate skin of Roman’s neck and the beta felt like sparks were shooting across his skin.

Roman was nodding as he agreed, his voice muffled against the alpha’s skin, and when Janus felt hot tears fall against his skin, he pulled back just enough to look down at the shorter man. He gently brushed the tears away before leaning in to kiss Roman’s forehead.

“Are...you taking me back?” Roman whispered before he could think better of it, tears still spilling over and onto his cheeks.

“If you’ll have me, yes, I’d love to have you back,” Janus answered softly, his voice sincere.

“Yes!” Roman answered quickly, burying his face in the warm fabric of Janus’ t-shirt against his chest. He was crying hard now and heard Janus trying to soothe him, but there was too much pain that needed to be let out. Understandably, it had been eating away at the beta for months. 

Eventually, Roman registered that Janus was running his hands gently up and down his back while he murmured sweet nothings in his ear to help try and calm him down. He knew he probably looked like a mess with how much he’d been crying and he tried to dry his face off on the sleeves of his t-shirt before pulling back far enough to look up at the other man. Janus smiled gently and raked a hand through Roman’s hair lovingly.

“I know we aren’t going to rush things but would you come lay down with me for a little while, please?” Roman asked tentatively, “Just to sleep?” he added quickly.

“Of course, Ro,” he leaned forward and kissed his forehead again, the way he used to when they’d first started dating several years ago. Janus stood and went around to check the locks on the front and back door before switching off the lights and taking Roman’s hand. They made their way up the stairs silently but it finally felt comfortable, rather than awkward.

Once the door of the guest room was shut behind them, they shrugged out of their pants until they were both only wearing boxers and t-shirts. Moving over towards the bed, much smaller than Janus’ in the main bedroom, Janus gestured for Roman to get in first. The beta complied and scooted over near the wall on the far side of the bed. The alpha had grabbed a blanket from the basket beside the couch in the living room and spread it out on top of them, mostly on Roman. The beta was always cold and loved blankets and Janus’ instinct to protect him was so strong right now. Janus climbed in after him and tugged the covers up over both of them.

Lying down on their sides, they looked at each other for a moment before moving in close to hold each other. Their bare legs tangled together and as more skin made contact, the more both men relaxed.

“I can’t explain how happy I am that you’re safe,” Janus said quietly into the darkness of the bedroom. After a long pause he leaned in to nuzzle Roman’s blonde hair, “I love you, Ro,” the alpha whispered thickly, holding the beta tightly against his chest.

“I love you more, Jan,” Roman answered, closing his eyes to savor the moment. None of this felt real, he didn’t deserve this man’s love. Especially not after everything he’d done to him and put him through. But somehow, miraculously, he was being given a second chance.

“Let’s try to get some sleep, sweetheart,” Janus said into Roman’s hair before pressing a kiss there, “I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be right here.” Roman murmured his agreement quietly before turning over so he was cradled in Janus’ arms, his back pressed into the alpha’s chest. One strong hand entwined with Roman’s as they rested against his chest and he allowed himself to close his eyes and settle in to try and sleep.

“I promise I’m never going to hurt you again,” Roman whispered into the darkness. Janus stiffened for a moment at the declaration before snuggling closer, “I also promise to never drink again,” he added, sniffing.

Janus hummed, “I’m not looking to control your life, Ro. If you really want to try this again, we’ve got to trust each other. We need to promise we’ll talk when something is wrong, not turn to some sort of vice to get us through. Life isn’t going to be perfect, and I’m sure we’ll fight again at some point because we’re both human. But we can promise to react to it in a healthy way from now on. I’m not going to ever control your decisions, tell you where you can go, who you can hang out with or anything like that.”

Roman agreed quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to Janus’ hand still entwined with his own.

“Sweet dreams, my love,” Janus whispered against Roman’s neck, pressing a kiss to the skin.

***

The next morning, Roman woke to the light barely pouring in through the curtains and he was disoriented for a moment before he remembered everything that had happened yesterday and realized where he was sleeping. Janus had come to rescue them after the tornado ripped the apartment complex to shreds. And they had also made up and were dating again.

He rolled over and saw Janus still sleeping soundly, his face peaceful as he slept. Roman allowed himself the chance to run his eyes over every part of the other man’s face, down to his chest, and along the one arm that was above the blanket. 

It still didn’t feel like any of this was real, but Roman was determined to not mess things up with this second chance he’d been gifted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus and Roman try to continue moving forward and start a new chapter in their lives together.

“You could always stay here with me,” Janus suggested, glancing over to Roman. The beta froze at the words, feeling shocked.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” the beta asked, hope swelling inside his chest as he waited for an answer.

“Yeah, I really am,” Janus replied, stepping forward to take both of Roman’s hands in his own, “we could start a new chapter of our lives.”

Roman’s eyes widened as he looked up at the taller man, “A new chapter…” he echoed before trailing off.

Janus nodded, “I’d like to court you, if you’re ready for that,” he explained quietly, looking down into sky blue eyes to gauge the reaction.

Roman’s heart was threatening to beat out of his chest as the words sank in. “I...would love for you to court me, Jan,” the beta replied breathlessly.

Janus grinned and promptly scooped the smaller man up, causing his feet to leave the ground as he kissed him happily and held him close. Roman laughed at the sensation of leaving the ground and being held in the alpha’s strong arms again after so long.

After several more moments of sweet kisses, Janus pulled away, setting the beta back on his feet on the ground, “Can I scent mark you, now?” he asked, looking hopeful. Roman nodded eagerly and moved to pull him over to the couch. They sat down at the middle corner where the couch veered off in either direction and immediately moved to hold each other close. Janus cradled Roman in his arms and Roman had a brilliant sense of deja vu as the alpha thumbed across his cheekbone while they looked into each other's eyes. Roman pulled him into another kiss and arched his body forward in an attempt to get closer

Janus huffed a laugh at the gesture and broke away from the kiss. He leaned down to nuzzle and lick at Roman’s scent mark on his neck. The beta closed his eyes and tried to focus on all of the wonderful sparks that were coursing through his body at the alpha’s touch. 

When Janus pulled away several moments later, Roman immediately leaned in to give his scent glands the same treatment. When he pulled away he looked up at Janus and smiled.

“I love you,” Roman said quietly as his heartbeat stopped pounding in his chest.

Janus smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead, “I love you more,” he replied.

***

Roman found himself pressed against the wall as soon as he entered the apartment. He laughed into the kisses his boyfriend was bestowing on him, “Miss me?” he asked when he could catch his breath.

Janus smiled and leaned in to scent his neck, “Yep, we’ve hardly had any time to be together this week, I’m so happy it’s finally the weekend and I can see you.”

Later that evening they were laying on the sofa attempting to watch Netflix but their hands kept wandering to caress one another as they snuggled together. Roman shifted back against the other man and felt Janus’ cock hardening against him, though he said nothing. The beta rolled his hips back against the delicious hardness and heard Janus moan softly. They hadn’t been physically intimate since reconnecting besides a few make out sessions, they were trying not to rush into things.

Leaning to look back at his boyfriend, Roman teased him, “Can I help you with something?”

Janus blushed and shifted, pulling his hips back, “Sorry, I’m just turned on tonight being this close to you, we don’t have to do anything,” the alpha insisted.

“But...could we?” Roman asked tentatively, moving to roll over and face the other man.

Bright green eyes widened as they stared back at him, taking in the words, “If you’re sure…?” Janus said softly.

Roman grinned and leaned forward to kiss the taller man slowly, his hand coming up to fist in his t-shirt. Soon, their kisses grew more heated and Janus slipped his tongue in to taste Roman as he pulled him closer. Their hips were pressed together and both were rocking forward, seeking friction against their hard cocks.

Fingertips grazed under the hem of Janus’ t-shirt and when the alpha mirrored the gesture, both men ended up with their shirts being tugged off and tossed onto the floor. Fingers scrabbled against fastenings of jeans and fabric was shoved down quickly and Roman found himself on his back against the couch cushions. He looked up at the alpha and felt arousal surge through his body as strong hands were pressed against his thighs, gently spreading him open.

Janus slotted his body in between Roman’s thighs and their cocks brushed together as he leaned forward to kiss him deeply. He wrapped his hand around the beta’s dripping cock and slowly pumped it up and down, spreading the precome beading at the tip along the shaft. Roman moaned and arched up into his touch, closing his eyes blissfully. He felt slick fingers pressing against his hole and he spread his legs wider, inviting the touch. One slippery finger pressed into him carefully and moved around gently until his muscles relaxed.

The beta cursed as he rolled his hips against Janus’ finger, quietly pleading for more. Janus snickered and added more lube and a second finger into his ass. He yelped when fingers brushed against his prostate and he reached up to grip the alpha’s shoulders above him. By the time a third finger was added, Roman was a moaning mess and he reached down to run his hand up and down over his cock.

“Please, Jan, need you” Roman pleaded, looking up at the alpha propped above him. Janus carefully slicked his cock with lube before leaning in to kiss Roman soundly. The head pressed against the tight ring of muscle and he rocked gently until he broke through. Moans echoed throughout the room and Janus slowly slid his cock all the way into his lover. When he bottomed out he leaned in to kiss the beta again, one hand coming up to grip his face. Roman shifted and wrapped his legs around Janus’ hips and he felt the alpha bring both of his hands up to entwine with his own fingers. He pressed their hands on either side of Roman’s head and licked inside the beta’s mouth and he began to thrust inside him slowly.

Roman waited for the pace to pick up but it stayed slow and gentle as he was kissed within an inch of his life. The alpha shifted, adjusting the angle of his cock until he heard Roman moan loudly as he brushed against his prostate. He started thrusting a little faster and untangled one hand to reach down and grip Roman’s cock. Janus jerked it up and down slowly in time with his thrusts and Roman was quickly falling apart underneath him. 

Roman was pleading against his mouth and he finally gave in, starting to pound his cock into the beta’s ass roughly. Too soon, Roman was arching up and shooting come in white strings across his chest, crying out as he dug his fingertips into the skin of Janus’ shoulders. Thrusting quickly before he got too overstimulated, Janus felt himself coming up into the beta’s body, his hips stuttering to a stop as the last strings of come spurted inside Roman.

He looked down at the man laying underneath him and he was starting back, looking disheveled but very satisfied. Janus didn’t bite Roman’s neck, feeling like they needed to talk about it beforehand before he officially claimed him as his beta for life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus is in an accident and when he wakes up is shocked to hear that half of his face will be seriously scarred. Roman tried to reassure him that they can get through this.

Roman rushed up to the receptionist desk, “I’m here to see Janus Sanders,” he said breathlessly. She typed at her keyboard and her eyes scanned the screen before reaching for a wristband. She fastened it around Roman’s wrist and directed him through the waiting room of the ER, telling him Janus was in room 8. His heart was beating out of his chest as he walked quickly, eyes scanning the room numbers as he passed them. He stopped outside of room 8 and took a deep breath before poking his head inside. 

“Jan?” he called softly, before entering the small room. His heart seized up as he took in the man lying in the hospital bed. Janus’ skin was paler than usual and his body was covered with a thin blanket. His arms were laying on top of it and were covered with white bandages and bruises were blossoming out from the edges.

He was sleeping, probably with the assistance of pain medication. One eye was bruised and the other side of his face was covered in a huge bandage. Roman silently slipped into a chair next to the bed and sat staring at the broken man lying in the bed. He carefully reached out to take the hand closest to him and gingerly wrapped his fingers around Janus’.

Some time later a nurse came in to check Janus’ vitals and she quietly told Roman that he’d been sleeping since they patched him up. She moved to change a bag connected to his IV and it made a loud beeping noise. Janus startled awake and blinked around in confusion. His eyes landed on Roman and he stiffened.

“Hey, love,” Roman said, not bothering to ask how he was doing because it was obvious he was not well. Janus turned his face away, “Hi, Ro.”

Roman didn’t speak for a long while, just held the alpha’s hand tenderly in his own as they sat in silence. Eventually, the beta stood and touched his shoulder questioningly. Janus nodded and Roman leaned down carefully to scent mark his boyfriend, rubbing his nose against the skin, and hoping to calm him down a bit. Janus returned the gesture and afterwards Roman pulled back gently, moving to sit in the chair once more.

“Did...I mean, did anyone say what happened?” Janus asked warily, his voice hushed as he turned slightly towards his boyfriend.

Roman blinked, “Do you know?” he asked.

Janus shook his head, looking down at the thin blanket covering his body.

Roman took a deep breath, “You were driving on the highway, coming home from Logan and Patton’s apartment and a pickup truck hit a patch of ice and hit your car. I believe it also hit another one in the process, it's a pretty bad storm out there right now.”

“I’m not sure what happened specifically to cause your injuries, they wouldn’t tell me because we aren’t mates yet. HIPPA privacy and all of that…I only know about the accident because it was on the news,” Roman added softly.

Janus just nodded.

“I’m so happy you’re alive, Jan,” Roman said, his voice cracking as he tightened his hand around the alpha’s.

“Me too,” Janus whispered thickly, “My face must be pretty fucked up...it’s mostly bandaged up and hurts like a bitch.”

Roman felt tears begin falling as he nodded, “Maybe...but it’ll be alright. We’ll get you all healed up and deal with anything we need to as it comes.”

Janus looked at him, lying back against the thin hospital pillow as fatigue took over, “I’m glad you’re here, Ro,” he whispered, and his eye that was not covered started to shed tears.

“Of course I am, love, I’m not going anywhere,” Roman quickly reassured his boyfriend, leaning in to brush the tears away carefully before pressing an extremely gentle kiss to Janus’ hair.

A doctor came in a while later to check on Janus and by the time he began discussing skin grafts to cover the burns on his face, Janus had had enough. Feeling himself start to disassociate, the alpha simply nodded, not truly hearing anything else the doctor explained after that and he stared off blankly once he’d left the room. He felt like he was inside the middle of a very large bubble and everything around him was fuzzy and static rang in his ears.

“It’s late, you should get home so you can rest,” Janus finally said to Roman, turning away as he shifted in discomfort.

“No way, I’m not going anywhere, Jan,” Roman insisted, adjusting the blanket around him, “I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“I think...I think I might need some time alone...just to...p-process everything,” Jan said thickly, sounding on the verge of tears as he gestured to his face.

Roman was taken aback but tried to not let it hurt his feelings. “Maybe I could go to your apartment and grab some of your things? I really hate the idea of leaving you alone but I’ll give you space if you really need it.”

“Maybe just come back tomorrow?” Janus asked uncertainly.

Roman’s eyes burned with tears, too many emotions swirling around inside his chest. He nodded and walked around to the other side of the bed, “Okay, love, do you want some of your things?”

“Sure,” Janus agreed quietly, sighing heavily.

Roman leaned in to press a kiss to Janus’ forehead, “I love you, Jan, call me if you need anything sooner than the morning, alright? Or if you just need to talk,” the beta insisted gently as he pulled back.

Janus nodded and watched as Roman gathered his coat and bag to leave. Suddenly his heart was clenching uncomfortably inside his chest as he watched his boyfriend move towards the door.

“Wait, Ro,” Janus said quickly. Roman turned, his eyebrow raised at the sudden outburst.

“If...if you really don’t mind...would you really come back tonight…?” Janus trailed off, absolutely hating how weak his voice sounded.

“Of course I will, my love,” Roman walked back over to the side of the hospital bed and sat his bag on the foot of the bed, away from Janus’ feet. He leaned in a cradled Janus’ face tenderly, slowly moving in to press a kiss to his lips.

“I do really need some time to process everything,” Janus explained, “but I...if we love each other I should be able to fall apart in front of you, huh?”

Roman smiled sadly, “Yes you should,” he gently took Janus’ hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it before continuing, “I know you’d do the same thing for me, Jan.”

Janus nodded and a nurse walked in with a tray of medical items, “Hi there, I’m Rachel, I’m here to give you your night medications, Mr. Sanders,” she said brightly, moving towards the tall computer standing beside the bed and typing at it quickly.

“So I’ll run home and be back very soon, okay?” Roman reassured him, pressing a kiss to his forehead once more.

“Please drive safely, Ro,” Janus said, his voice a little strained.

“I will, I promise. I’ll be back soon, love.” Roman smiled and grabbed his bag before moving out the door.

Janus watched him go and felt his chest tighten. He swallowed hard, ‘Get it together, he’s coming right back,’ he thought.

“How are you feeling right now, Mr. Sanders?” Rachel asked him, busying herself with syringes to add to his IV line, “what’s your pain level?”

“Umm, it’s not extremely painful right now, but it definitely doesn’t feel great,” the alpha answered, running one hand through his dark, wavy hair absently.

“You’re a tough one, aren’t you,” she asked kindly, injecting a syringe into the IV line and pressing the plunger smoothly, “most people after their first few surgeries are in an awful lot of pain.”

“I think I must be more preoccupied thinking about the future and how all of this,” he gestured to his face, “is going to change things.”

The nurse nodded, “I’m sure some things will change but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how many things will return to normal,” she explained gently.

“I know you’re dealing with an awful lot right now, it’s perfectly normal to feel scared, depressed, numb, angry...anything you’re feeling right now is valid, Mr. Sanders,” Rachel said gently, loading the last syringe into the IV line. “But you seem very strong and we’ve got a lot of excellent people here to take great care of you.”

Janus nodded, “I’m sure it will be fine eventually but that seems like a pretty distant goal right now,” he said, picking absently at the edge of a bandage on his arm.

“You’ll get there, I promise,” Rachel reassured him, smiling. “So I just gave you several different pain medications and they should help you get some sleep, but if you feel pain in the night or need anything at all, hit this button and I’ll be right in, okay?”

Already starting to feel the groggy pull of sleep hitting him, he quickly asked, “Roman, my boyfriend, he’s coming back tonight with some things from home. He’ll be allowed back in, right?”

“Absolutely,” Rachel said, “you may be asleep by the time he comes back, they work pretty fast, but I’ll make sure to give him some pillows and blankets for the couch if he’d like to stay overnight with you.”

Janus laid back against the pillows, feeling exhausted as he nodded, “Thanks Rachel, I appreciate that a lot.” He felt sleepiness dragging him down and he tried to fight against the pull but lost the battle quickly.

When Roman returned an hour later with an armful of items from Janus’ apartment, he smiled down at his boyfriend as he slept, his face finally looking peaceful.

He carefully pulled the thin hospital blanket off Janus’ body and tucked his favorite fluffy, yellow blanket over him. He pulled the hospital blanket back up over the sleeping alpha and double checked the wires connected to his IV, making certain that nothing was being pulled the wrong way. Roman had also brought him a pillow from his bed at home but hated to wake him, so he sat it carefully on a chair next to his own as he sat back down beside the bed.

Rachel came back in to check on Janus and smiled at Roman, “He wanted to be awake when you made it back but those medications are pretty strong,” she said, glancing at the computer and then back at the beta. “Are you staying here tonight? I can bring you a pillow and blanket for the couch?”

“Oh, thanks, yeah I’d like to stay with him if that’s alright,” Roman nodded, taking the alpha’s hand closest to him gently.

“Sure thing, I’ll be right back,” the nurse said as she turned to leave the room.

An hour later, Roman was fighting sleep as he felt the urge to sit here and protect his boyfriend. Logically, he knew he was safe, but something primal inside his chest made him not want to move from his side as he slept. The beta finally leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift over a jumbled mix of everything that had happened over the past few days.

He knew that Janus was secretly worried about how Roman would feel when they left the hospital and saw his face with it’s new imperfections. The beta tried to think of ways to explain that it didn’t matter to him, he’d never love Janus any less, no matter what scars he had, and fell asleep contemplating.

Roman jerked awake at a noise and sat up, blinking groggily over at the bed. Janus was turned on his side, facing away from Roman but he was crying into the pillow, hunched over it as he tried to stay quiet.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong, are you in pain?” Roman asked, coming around to the other side of the hospital bed and kneeling down to be eye level with the other man. Janus looked up at him miserably, nodding before bursting into tears once more. 

“Honey, we can call the nurse, you don’t have to lay here and be uncomfortable,” Roman said gently, moving to reach for the call button.

“Sorry, I’m not thinking very straight right now,” Janus said, sniffing.

The beta handed him the glass of water sitting on his bedside tray and convinced him to take some sips before laying back against the pillows.

“I brought your pillow from home, would you rather have that, Jan?” he asked, brushing his fingers through the alpha’s bangs that hung out on one side of the bandages on his forehead.

Janus nodded and allowed Roman to change the pillow for him, still looking miserable as he hugged the hospital pillow to his chest. Rachel came in several moments later and administered some more medication before reassuring him he could call them for any reason at all.

Once she left the room, Janus turned to Roman and asked softly, “Ro, will you come lay with me?” His green eye that was visible was bright with tears and Roman felt his heart clench at the request.

“Of course, you won’t be too crowded though?”

Janus shook his head and scooted over. Roman carefully slid into the bed and wrapped his arms around the alpha, pulling him in close to his chest and stroking his hair lovingly.

“Ro, I’m gonna look so strange now,” Janus whispered before bursting into tears again, ducking his head and sobbing against the beta’s chest. 

Roman did his best to reassure him that everything would be fine but Janus wasn’t convinced and sobbed until the pain medication lulled him back to sleep a few minutes later. Roman felt his heart breaking for the other man, wishing he could wave his hand and fix everything.

He wiped the tears from his boyfriend’s cheeks and snuggled in close, scenting him lovingly.


End file.
